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Posts from — April 2008

Shark Attack – 6 Degrees of Separation and Speaking Ill of the Dead

In the “if it bleeds it leads” style of journalism, the shark attack in Solana Beach that killed retired veterinarian David Martin was featured on all of the major news networks last week. Why? It’s a local story and doesn’t merit coverage on national news.

As it happens, I knew this guy. When I first moved to San Diego he was a vet in the practice where I took my two cats and then my two dogs. He was a pretty man who wore extremely expensive cowboy boots. He was also totally detached from his work. When I brought my animals in it was always my hope I wouldn’t have to see him. Perhaps he was already in retirement mode and counting the days but my overall impression was that he didn’t care. I’m sure others will probably say just the opposite. I don’t think you can build the successful practice that they had without either caring or doing a good job of pretending to care. I didn’t see either from this guy. I saw a very pretty face with very expensive tastes. I hope the shark appreciated the meal.

April 27, 2008   No Comments

Wash Your Hands in Draino and Become a Saint Like Padre Pio

fakerOnce upon a time, a wacko claimed stigmata. He was examined by doctors and it was determined that the marks on his hands were chemical burns. People desperate to believe with minds muddled by magical thinking ignored this and decided Padre Pio was some sort of holy sumthin’ or other. The stupidity continues today. From Reuters:

Padre Pio’s body was exhumed from a crypt on March 3 and found to be in “fair condition” after 40 years. Since then, a team of medical examiners and biochemists has been hard at work preserving and reconstructing the body for display.

Its condition at the end of their work has been a closely guarded secret. Monks who have seen it were under orders not to talk to the media before it goes on display on Thursday at about 1 p.m. (7 a.m. EDT) after an outdoor Mass expected to be attended by at least 15,000 people.

About 750,000 people from around the world, mostly from Italy, have made reservations to view the body up to the end of December, according to church officials. About 7,200 people a day will file past the glass coffin.

Pio’s refurbished corpse will be a sure money-maker. Tinkets, cards, photos, relics, etc, will all be available for purchase. Isn’t it special. You can do this, too, with a little caustic and a little flesh.

April 23, 2008   14 Comments

Aunt Bessie’s Mash Van part deux – Artfest 2008

The previous inconsequential “mash cone” post is bringing in hundreds of pageviews per hour. Who woulda’ thought? I’ve been joking with a couple of friends that I should post something about sex and mash cones but I think that would be to obvious. I’ve decided on the following instead:

Aunt Bessie’s Mash Cone Revealed

The blog-o-sphere was shaken yesterday with reports of a new British Food trend; Aunt Bessie’s Mash Cone. The repulsive treat, a scoop of mashed potato in an ice cream cone soaked in gravy and topped with peas and a glistening stick of sausage, however, was not actually meant to be eaten. It was an art project from the recently completed ArtFest 2008 in Port Townsend, WA. The mixed media event is a pacific northwest tradition enthusiastically attended by hundreds of women and a few men every year. The teacher of the “mash cone class” commented that the idea of the Dada-esque creation came to her while coordinating rides for her son’s soccer league. After many attempts with a variety of media she settled on two raw materials; Jimmy Dean Sausage and Swanson TV dinners. She went on to say that the mashed potato from the latter had a consistency that was perfect for her assemblage.

Seriously, here is a picture of Aunt Bessie’s Mash Van. Check out the slogan: “Nice and Creamy, Warm and Dreamy.”

April 10, 2008   2 Comments

Mash Cone from Aunt Bessie’s Mash Van

Mash ConeSausage, mashed potato, gravy and peas on a cone is disgusting. This seems to be the spring food treat in the UK.

April 9, 2008   2 Comments

New Video Game – Grand Theft CEO – Rated X for Xtreme Greed

From the NY Times, CEO compensation for 2007:

John A. Thain – $83,785,021 – Merrill Lynch

Lawrence J. Ellison – $61,180,524 – Oracle

Lloyd C. Blankfein – $53,965,418 – Goldman Sachs Group

Kenneth I. Chenault – $50,126,585 – American Express

John J. Mack – $41,399,010 – Morgan Stanley

Ray R. Irani – $33,624,909 – Occidental Petroleum

Daniel R. Hesse – $29,455,746 – Sprint Nextel

Miles D. White – $28,955,662 – Abbott Laboratories

Robert A. Iger – $27,665,413 – Walt Disney

Alan G. Lafley – $26,835,350 – Procter & Gamble

April 7, 2008   No Comments